#which is like fine but it feels weird to theoretically spend 30 dollars a month to be not miserable. bc idk the copay on this medication was
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year ago
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#ho hum they finally filled my prescription so ive now got the new medication#havent decided when im gonna start taking it tho. like i should start tomorrow bc i dont feel that great#i mean ive physically recovered from my allergic reaction debacle. my mood is generally just low. not like dangerously so. more like i#talk to ppl and im like oh im being a bummer. which i hate. so like i should start taking it#but im only here for like one more week before i fly home so im like. well ill b fine over the break bc no school#which is like yeah ill prob b fine but like even when im hanging out with family and being chill im not really happy. im just like not so#stressed but theres still like a cap on my mood so like maybe if i take it i can b like a human person. but like im still somehow resistant#which is dumb but like taking an old timey non ssri anti depressant feels different than taking an actual up and down mood stablizer#which is stupid bc im just getting freaked out by the word anti psychotic. and like grappling with the stupid voice#in the back of my head from growing up around the super health freaks in my family who r like: dont take medicine. dont trust doctors who#want to unnecessarily medicate u. but like im also worried itll work and ill just have to b on medication for the rest of my life#which is like fine but it feels weird to theoretically spend 30 dollars a month to be not miserable. bc idk the copay on this medication was#way higher than anything else ive had to get. but idk its dumb and i should just take it#but also a tiny bit a afraid of side effects after last time. i dont wanna deal with that :-[#unrelated
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